Yeah, I went there. Daughter and I was walking to the van from martial arts. We were alone, so I took the opportunity to ask the question.
She replied, “you’re not one of those crazy mothers who keep telling you to study all the time and you’re not one of those that love their children so much as to say, I love you no matter what, even if you do drugs.” I was like, there are mothers who say, I love you no matter what, even if you do drugs? I guess there are, they don’t necessarily say those words, they just let the child do whatever it is they want. These parents figure it’s the child’s job to figure out what’s right or wrong for themselves.
She said, I was just right, in the middle of these two types of mothers. She said she knows I love her. I asked how does she know that and she said, she just does.
I once asked if she was angry when I yell at her for not doing things. She replied, no, because you are yelling at me to do something good for me. She knocked me out by this response. She’s wise beyond her 11 years. I was touched that she recognizes where the yelling was coming from. Of course I could try to express my feelings in a non-hostile manner. Let’s just say, I’m working on it.