Monthly Archives: May 2016

“If it wasn’t for your misfortune, you’d be a heavenly person today.” – Blue Monday by New Order

At first I laughed when I heard this lyric from New Order and thought how true, for me and countless other people.  Then, I thought, because of my misfortunes, I am a heavenly person today.  Well, maybe not heavenly, but definitely funny (even though I’m not necessarily trying to be funny).

This is another title in the running for my memoirs.

The kids are off this week for Spring Break.  We were sitting around the table and I started telling them about my childhood.  I brought up one particularly painful memory of my stepmom slapping me.  As I was telling them, my eyes started welling up with tears, I couldn’t hold them back.  It was a day my dad and stepmom were off from the restaurant.  I was in third grade and my brother in first grade.  I went into their room in the morning and said something to her waking her up.  She opened her eyes, stared at me with this look of how dare I wake her and slapped me across my face.  My father, sleeping next to her, woke up and slapped her, which started a slapfest.  At this point my children are all laughing at this description, making me laugh as well.

After telling them the story,

Firstborn (turns to me and says):

                   Mom you should be a stand up comedian telling people all these stories about your family.  It’s so funny.

Me:           Um, it’s also tragic, but I’ll keep that in mind.  Thanks.



Oops…  I just read the lyrics to Blue Monday and I was mistaken.  The lyric is actually

“But if it wasn’t for your misfortunes, I’d be a heavenly person today.”

This is actually my husband’s song, not mine.